msjewbooty:

please do not criticize the things i do for my own enjoyment

snowtorch:

(seductively licks lips)

(grabs your wrist)

(furiously hits you with your own hand)

WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF WHY AR

gillany:

that awkward stage in a friendship when you’ve talked a few times but you don’t know if you can be an asshole to them yet???

samspratt:

SAM SPRATT’s 2014 PORTRAIT GIVEAWAY
In short: Reblogs and Likes of this picture are each entries to have me paint a personalized portrait of you.
In slightly less short: Longtime followers are no stranger to these contests but for those new to this or me, I’m an illustrator (my work: www.samspratt.com ) who has worked with National Geographic, Janelle Monáe, Childish Gambino, FX, Game Informer, Angry Birds, Wall Street Journal, among others – creating album and magazine covers, advertisements, and posters – but a big part of me being able to do all that has been you sharing my work over the last 3 years. As my small way of paying that forward, I’d like to paint for one of you as I would for my clients, but ya know … for free. Maybe you want that regal portrait of you in a velvet smoking jacket to hang over your mantel, maybe one of your loved one, favorite character, or perhaps you just want me to paint you however I see fit (warning: this will 100% involve dinosaurs) – if you can think it, I’ll probably paint it – and I’ll work with you to make it something special.

As usual I’ll also be sending signed prints and haikus about your eyebrows to extra winners. The contest will stay open for about a week then I’ll randomly draw winners. You can enter on facebook and twitter for extra entries but be cool and don’t spam your followers.

samspratt:

SAM SPRATT’s 2014 PORTRAIT GIVEAWAY

In short: Reblogs and Likes of this picture are each entries to have me paint a personalized portrait of you.

In slightly less short: Longtime followers are no stranger to these contests but for those new to this or me, I’m an illustrator (my work: www.samspratt.com ) who has worked with National Geographic, Janelle Monáe, Childish Gambino, FX, Game Informer, Angry Birds, Wall Street Journal, among others – creating album and magazine covers, advertisements, and posters – but a big part of me being able to do all that has been you sharing my work over the last 3 years. As my small way of paying that forward, I’d like to paint for one of you as I would for my clients, but ya know … for free. Maybe you want that regal portrait of you in a velvet smoking jacket to hang over your mantel, maybe one of your loved one, favorite character, or perhaps you just want me to paint you however I see fit (warning: this will 100% involve dinosaurs) – if you can think it, I’ll probably paint it – and I’ll work with you to make it something special.

As usual I’ll also be sending signed prints and haikus about your eyebrows to extra winners. The contest will stay open for about a week then I’ll randomly draw winners. You can enter on facebook and twitter for extra entries but be cool and don’t spam your followers.

nighthooker:

yeah plants are cool but would i fuck one? well…

illaminati:

saltedvagina:

i have an increasing sexual attraction towards potato foods and it’s scaring me

image

if ever ur having a bad day remember this is how sloths poop

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peanutsareforpussies:

sleepyshibe:

what are you doing you dumb animal

making his bread

peanutsareforpussies:

sleepyshibe:

what are you doing you dumb animal

making his bread

cute-overload:

I was deployed in mid-2011. This was my dog’s very first reaction upon seeing me over Skype.

cute-overload:

I was deployed in mid-2011. This was my dog’s very first reaction upon seeing me over Skype.

jaclcfrost:

something u ordered online finally arriving

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booche:

*me typing* YAAAAAAAAAAAASSSS

*me irl*

image

subliminalmusings:

weteevee:

subliminalmusings:

weteevee:

knock knock

who’s there

shit i posted this thinking no one would reblog it i don’t actually have a joke i’m sorry

shit i posted this thinking no one would reblog it i don’t actually have a joke i’m sorry who

plastic-apple:

I would rather wander around a store for 9 hours than ask an employee where something is and this I do not understand

Does anyone actually know what you have to do when people are singing happy birthday to you.